Week 1 Review: Splash Bros Advance, Teacher's Down and Out

With no shortages of drama and storylines, the first week of Dodgeball 2015 brought an abundance of thrill and excitement to the BCS lunch. Here's a recap of the action:

Game 1:  Write Ins vs All Mighty Bigs

The All Mighty Bigs took both of the first two games as these freshmen won the inaugural match in the 2015 BCS dodgeball tournament. In both games, the Write Ins were quickly shot down until only Adam Koehler and Lauren Miller remained as Josh Polley and Co advance to the second round.

Game 2:  6’5’’ vs Splash Bros

In what was billed as possibly the highest caliber first round dodgeball match ever to grace the floors of Edwards gymnasium, this epic first round matchup between  Team 6’5’’ and the Splash Bros did not disappoint.  

Sean MacIndoe and the Splash Bros vs. 6'5"

6’5” won the 1st game of the best of 3 series when senior Caleb Moyer was ironically gunned down while giving a celebratory high 5 to Sean Macindoe (in response to his elimination of last year’s invincible MVP Matthew Lew). At that point it seemed as if Lew and 6’5’’ would go on to pull out the victory with relative ease. Unfortunately for Lew and 6’5’’ however, the Splash Bros (who are the very team that Lew spurned in favor of 6’5’’) came back with a vengeance.

Riding the stellar performance of Isaac Lin, the Splash Bros overcame a stellar catch by Genna Walker and won game 2. In the winner take all game 3, the Splash Bros used all of their experience and a complete team effort to take the match, leaving the very sophomores who watched John Cooke conduct the bracket draw claiming that the tournament is rigged.  Amidst the controversy however, two things are for certain: The Sophomore Slump and the Splash Bros are for real.  

Game 3: Sparkle Norwhals vs Administration Approved

Administration Approved was able to make quick work of the Sparkle Norwhals but struggled to make the final hits to win the game as Tina Li repeatedly evaded the barrage of throws coming her way.

Game 4: Teacher Team vs Team No Names

After short notice that they would be playing due to a teacher meeting that is taking place next week, the No Names stepped up and quickly made a name for themselves. Through a series of cannon like throws in quick succession (including Nick Kang’s ruthless double shot of Mr. Anderson) the No Names systematically eliminated the opposition until the Teacher Team’s fate rested solely upon the shoulders of the laser armed and focused AD, Mark DeJounge. The AD’s performance while valiant could be summed up by his post match comments. When asked how many catches he had, the laser focused AD, Mr. DeJounge could only respond with “not enough”. It seems as if Mr. Anderson and the teachers will have to wait another year for a dodgeball victory.

Game 5: Team Tim Tang vs The Squad

In the final and perhaps most exciting match of the week, Kelly Polito and The Squad were eventually able to overcome both Team Tim Tang and gravity to come out with the victory. Despite the fact that half their team was not present come game time, The Squad was able to rummage together their 8 players and put in an exciting performance.  Tim Tang and Franklin Sheng were the stalwarts leading Tim Tang to victory in game 2, before Garett Olerud willed his team to victory in the decisive 3rd game.

 

Additional Thoughts:

Look for Teacher team captain Mr. Anderson to force the teachers to start spending Team Time in special dodgeball practices that will increase both their relationships on the court as well as their dodgeball ability.  

Daniel Young, Breyton Schimke, and John Cooke have enhanced the atmosphere at this year’s tournament with their stellar commentating. Daniel Young also took a brief break from commentating in day two of action in order to ask KoL Unger to JSB. Well done Daniel.

First Round Match-Ups

First Round Match-Ups and Dates are as follows:

Wednesday May 20:
Write Ins vs. All Mighty Bigs
6’5’’ vs. Splash Bros

Thursday May 21:
Sparkle Norwhals vs Administration Approved
Team Tim Tang vs. The Squad
Straight out of Clyde Hill vs. Johnny Basketball

Wednesday May 27:
Teacher Team vs. Team No Names
Gravy Wafflemakers vs. D^5
Freakin Freshman vs. Swoll Team 8

2015 Bracket

Well the time is officially now. Below is the official bracket for the 2015 BCS Dodgeball Tournament:

Write Ins
	|	Write Ins
All Mighty Bigs	|		|
	|		|
6'5''			|		|
	|	Splash Bros	|		|
Team Splash Bros	|		|		|
	|				|
Sparkle Norwhals					|		|
	|	A. Approved			|		|
Administration Approved	|		|		|		|
	|		|		|		|
Team Tim Tang			|		|		|
	|	The Squad	|				|
The Squad	|		|				|
	|						|
Straight Out of Clyde Hill							|
	|						|
Johnny Basketball	|		|				|
	|		|				|
Teacher Team			|		|		|
	|	No Names	|		|		|
Team No Names	|		|		|		|
	|				|		|
Gravy Wafflemakers					|		|
	|				|
D^5	|		|		|
	|		|		|
Freakin Freshman			|		|
	|		|
Swoll Team 8	|		|
	|

2015 TEAM PREVIEWS

Well another year of the drama and the excitement is officially upon us. BCS DODGEBALL AND THE SUPERBALL ARE BACK. This years edition of the tournament will include one of the largest fields in recent history with 16 teams. When it is all said and done, 1 will stand as the SUPERBALL II CHAMPION. Before the "dodgeballers" delve heart and soul into the quest for the elusive Superball  here are previews for all 16 teams.

Dodgeball 2015 Team Previews:

1.     Team name: 6’5’’

Members: Nik W, Brandon B, Jake S, Chris S, Genna W, Isaac W, Matthew L, Claire S.

Run Down: Headlined by the reigning 2014 tournament MVP, Matthew  Lew, this all sophomore team has to be considered one of the favorites to take home the SuperBall II trophy. Don’t look past the rest of the team members though.  Jake Simmons and Isaac Wood seem poised to have big tournaments and look for Genna Walker to show us that she has one of the best arms of any girl in the school.

2.     Team Name: Johnny Basketball

Members: Max K, Brandon N, Alex K, Christian I, Gio H, Clayton G, Jenson T, Nicole W
Run Down: Early on this team looks to be another strong one. The team chemistry is automatically boosted by the Guchi brother connection and the swag of Brandon Nakamura is sure to make an impact. Should John Green’s team go out early, look for him to be their biggest fan.

3.     Team Name: The Splash Bros

Team Members: Dylan P, David P, Sean M, Courtney P, Caleb M, Isaac L, Jessica B, Joe E

Run Down: The Splash Bros return two players from last years Superball 1 champions, in Dylan Parsons and Sean MacIndoe. Expect soccer goalie David Postma to make a few catches and for the plethora of multisport athletes rounding out this team to provide the athleticism and depth that is required to win Superball championships.

4.     Team Name: Administration Approved

Team Members: Katie H, Ryan M, Luke P, Riley B, Ricky H, Joey D, Bennett C, Emily S

Run Down: This all senior team has lots of experience on their side as they make the final chase at the elusive Superball trophy. If kicking the dodgeballs at opponents was legal they might be unstoppable, but nevertheless look for them to show off that they have decent arms as well.

5.     Team Name: Sparkle Norwhals

Members: Amanda W, Sarah D, Tina L, Katie P, Alexis H, Abram O, Elle E, Joseph P

Run Down: This all-freshman team enters the BCS dodgeball scene as a bit of a dodgeball unknown so it will be interesting to see how they perform. If these Norwhals can produce play that is anywhere close to as cool as their name, they could be able to win a game or two.

6.     Team Name: Freakin Freshman

Members: Clayton W, Daniel T, Brandon P, Luke S, Jordan H, Trevor P, Kayli N, Hanna N

Run Down: The Freakin Freshman claim that they are ready for massive leap that is the jump from JH to HS dodgeball. Time will tell whether or not they truly are however but in the meantime look for Clayton W and Trevor P to make an immediate impact.

7.     Team Name: Swoll Team 8

Members: Michael D, Nathan A, Joe H, Zack D, Marnie H, Turner B, Becca J, Preston M

Run Down: After months of preparation and morning workouts, the true test of the strength is coming soon inside Edwards Gymnasium. Let’s just hope that no injuries occur as a result of their powerful throws.

8.     Team Name: Straight out of Clyde Hill

Members: Vance B, Carter, Max, Karen, Nat, Will L, Jonah B, James W

Run Down:  An all Junior Team, Straight out of Clyde Hill, has the toughness and grit that comes from years of living in the ghetto.  

9.     Team Name:

Members: Tim T, Brian C, Lucas W, Sam C, Herman B, Franklin S, Catie H, Caryn A.

Run Down: After the dramatic performance of Mark Chen last year these guys have a lot to live up to. Expect them to compete and have a lot of fun.

10.  Team Name: D^5

Members: Reed S, Matt P, Daniel S, Sperry M, Jack C, Stefan V, Bella B, Christian M

Run Down: If they can advance, D^5 promises to be one of this year’s crowd favorites. There are two major questions for them heading into the tournament though: Will Jack Cook’s finger be able to hold up? And what does D^5 stand for?

11.  Team Name: Team No Names

Members: Calvin H, Taylor P, Alex L, Patricia L, Nickolas K, Scott G, Jared B, ________

Run Down: Another team of Juniors, ______, enters the tournament trying to climb to the to top of the dodgeball world as easily as Calvin Hancock climbs a flight of stairs. To be eligible come game time however they are going to need one more girl and a team name.

12.  Team Name: Gravy Wafflemakers

Members: Craig L, Aaron Z, Luke M, Eric K, Peter B, Catherine D, Kathleen C, Fuller R

Run Down: Hopefully for all spectators, the Gravy Wafflemakers produce some highlights that are as memorable as Spiever’s lunchtime stories. Fuller Rivera, Peter Besel, and Aaron Zakes are seasoned veterans and look for Eric Kats to have a break out performance.

13.  Team Name: The All-Mighty Bigs

Members: Noah S, Josh P, Manny T, Carson  D, Tyler J, Jon G, Hannah, Liah

Run Down:  Another all-freshman team,  The All-Mighty Bigs hope to show the upper classmen what they are made of. Rumors have it that they might plan on partially deflating some of the dodgeballs to get a leg up on the competition. 

14.  Team Name: Write Ins

Members:  Michael M, Kenny S, David R, Kevin L, Adam K, Jason C, Tylera A, Nandi, Irene L, Tom M.

Run Down: This team of write ins enters the tournament hoping to build a little team chemistry. To progress in the tournament this chemistry will have to hold up a little longer than the leaky G building Ceiling.

15.  Team Name: The Squad

Members: Jared B, Garrett O, Kelly P, Jacob G, Daniel B, John L, Ana C, Caroline W

Run Down: One of the last teams to sign up, this team appeared to be patiently selecting only the best of dogeball players. Hopefully their selections pay off.

16.  Teacher Team:

Members: whoever shows up

Run Down: Looking at the abundance of skill on teams in this year’s rendition of BCS Dodgeball, the teachers seem to be a bit nervous with a certain vice principle even asking if it is possibly to rig the bracket. When push comes to shove though expect them to put on a show as always.

Lew Enthralls, “Superball” Nearly Set

From news talk radio to social media to the halls of Bellevue Christian, one question has stumped professional analysts and average dodgeball fans alike: Can Matthew Lew be beaten on a dodgeball court?

Down 1-0 to Team Holmes in one of last week’s semifinal matchups, Lew found himself, once again, as the lone remaining player for Team Kimbell. Against nearly impossible odds, the freshman fell back on his tried and true conservative strategy: Wait patiently on the back line, creating the necessary space to use his unreal catching abilities to make him virtually unbeatable in a one-on-one situation.

After 20 excruciating minutes that involved negotiations with the vice principal to let the game bleed into Team Time, Team Kimbell rode an extraordinary 11 catches from Lew to the win, evening the series with Team Holmes at 1-1. In a BCS Dodgeball first, the definitive final game will be played on Monday (5/12), for the right to play the balanced and brilliantly led Team Parsons in the inaugural “SuperBall” the following day.  

 

As for the rest of the news, irony seemed to abound. Read on:

• Proudly declaring that he tried to “rig” the draft by threatening to intentionally step over the line (essentially dodgeball suicide) if drafted by certain captains, senior Josh Hazen ironically saw his BCS dodgeball career end by accidently stepping over the line twice in Team McQuaid’s upset loss to the sophomore laden Team Song. Thanks to avid reader Luke Postma for the acute observation.
• Noah Holmes underwent a satisfying catharsis on Wednesday, as he found himself in a position as head referee to call out Larry Anderson for “stepping over the line.” The Teachers would eventually go on to lose 2-0 at the hands of Team Kimbell, despite 2 KOs from Dodgeball rookie Mr. Mullinnex.
• Caught up in the aftermath of Matthew Lew’s semi-finals heroics is the fact that Team Holmes actually won the first game in the three game series, largely because of three “incredibly clutch” catches and a plethora of athletic dodges from Camilla Carpenter.
• Emotions ran high in the BCS gym as Mark Chen’s innumerable sacrifices failed to pay dividends for Team Song, who lost in a 2-0 sweep to Team Parsons. A furious David Postma assured media after the game that he would work all offseason and return with the vengeance of “a thousand white hot suns.”

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Monday (5/12): Team Kimbell vs. Team Holmes (1 game playoff)

In perhaps the most anticipated matchup in BCS Dodgeball history, the scrappy Morgan Becker and Sean MacIndoe of Team Holmes need to find a way to neutralize Matthew Lew. But let’s not forget about Conner Blakeslee, who has a reputation for fixing things.

                                                                            

Wednesday (5/13): Team Parsons vs. Team Holmes or Team Kimbell (SUPERBALL)

No matter who comes out of the one game playoff, either team will face its toughest opponent in Team Parsons, highlighted by Isaac “Imma gon’ tear ya’ll into finite, insignificant shreds” Lin. It remains to be seen the special surprises Senate has in store for “Superball,” but let’s hope it’s no, don’t you dare make that asinine pun you moronic “writer” just super.

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Reach Nathan Parsons at nathanparsons98@yahoo.com to complain, rant, or comment on this kind of fictitious blog post.

 

Freshman Inspires, “Cookiegate” Resolved

The first week of Bellevue Christian’s revamped dodgeball tournament brought us tears, sacrifice, violins and one of the greatest comebacks in the history of sports.

Inspired by the DJ’s incredibly wise and inspiring music choice of dubstep violin, on Thursday, May 1, 2014, Mathew Lew made dodgeball history. Not once, but twice did Lew find himself outnumbered 4 to 1, with his team on the verge of elimination. But instead of letting the haters hold him back and crumpling under the immense pressure, Lew defied the odds, putting the team on his back Greg Jennings style and systematically eliminated his opponents with an unreal combination of throwing kills (7), catches (8) and psychological warfare (too many instances to count).

While he stole headlines from even the most attention seeking seniors (see Holmes, Noah), Lew wasn’t the only one that made the news last week:

• The drama surrounding Team Carlson’s “Cookiegate” scandal seems to have finally died down, as test results from an official investigation into Team Carlson’s alleged “cookies” turned out negative when tested for HGH and other banned substances. Good for the sport, even greater for Grandma Judy’s reputation.
• Tears filled the BCS gym as spectators watched Mark Chen die a record seven times in one game, apparently all in a heroic effort to sacrifice himself for his teammates. Whether or not he actually said that, we may never know. But we can assume.
• The sort of acclaimed “Smif Report” met initial success, bringing in what you would expect from a fake news report an impressive amount of web traffic. Adam Smith’s hard pressing interview questions included hot button topics like ranking “Charmander, Bulbazor, and Squirtle” and asking his interviewees to choose between Avatar: The Last Airbender and Legend of Korra.

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Monday (5/5): Team Song vs. Team McQuaid
Alex Kawaguchi makes his first appearance for Team Song as Team McQuaid’s Peter Besel prepares to ball out against fellow freshmen opponents Fuller Rivera and Will Stelter.

Tuesday (5/6): Team Schimke vs. Team Parsons; Team Holmes vs. Team Razor
Isaac Lin looks to rebound from his tiring weekend as an elephant to help Team Parsons gain the edge over cross-country phenom Craig Lambert and Team Schimke. There’s also a second game, or something.

Wednesday (5/7): The Teachers vs. Team Kimbell
Men and philosophies come and go, but Larry Anderson forming a teacher dodgeball team will always remain. Anderson will likely look towards mild-mannered but laser armed athletic director Mark DeJonge when strategizing on how to beat Team Kimbell. If all else fails, expect a timely suspension to come Matthew Lew’s way right before lunch.

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Stay tuned every day for The Smif Report, where Adam Smith will conduct post-game interviews with all of your favorite dodgeball players.

Reach Nathan Parsons at nathanparsons98@yahoo.com to complain, rant, or comment on this kind of fictitious blog post.

Smif Report 4/29

The Bellevue Christian Dodgeball Tournament's first round continued in full force today, as Team Song scratched and clawed to a narrow 2-1 win over Team Olson that took nearly 24 minutes. Team Parsons finished off the day with a sweep of Team Wittenberg.

Watch Adam Smith's post game interview with Nathan Parsons on today's installment of the Smif Report:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQhqgGCPPxw&feature=youtu.be